The Goblin King is my Stalker
by Emerald The Lady Destiny
Summary: More insanity, this time another original song written by yours truly. Hope you all enjoy it, and remember to R and R!


The Goblin King is my Stalker

You know, there are times I think my brain has some kind of contest going with itself. Namely along the lines of "Let's see if we can do something even more insane than last time!" Thus I find myself here again, with a song of my own making. You could kind of call this a semi-sequel to "Getting over the Goblin King" but you don't have to read that one to understand this. But hey, if you want to (and leave a review while you're at it) I wouldn't complain.

And just to make it clear as always with the Powers that Be at this site…yes, this is a songfic. But I am breaking _none_ of your rules, because every line is written by yours truly. So no yelling or take aways, ya hear?

Disclaimer: Labyrinth isn't mine, so forth and so on, and neither are any other things I reference that you know aren't mine. Well, except most of the Labyrinth related merchandise mentioned, except the doll. But my birthday is coming up in a couple of months (hint hint). The song itself is mine, and for those interested in my head it has a very twangy country sound to it, for reasons I have yet to fathom. I'd be glad to let you use any and all of it for your own enjoyment, but please be kind enough to ask permission first. Thank you.

* * *

_The Goblin King is my Stalker_

The Goblin King is my Stalker,

Oh he's a real big talker,

I just don't know what to do with him.

Some say that he stuffs his tights with socks,

Others say he really rocks!

All I know is that he's stalking me!

* * *

It's started out innocently enough, you know,

A quick hello and off he'd go.

I didn't think anything was wrong.

But soon I was singing a different song,

And then before too long,

I couldn't get him to go away!

* * *

The Goblin King is my Stalker,

Oh he's a real big talker,

I just don't know what to do with him.

Some say that he stuffs his tights with socks,

Others say he really rocks!

All I know is that he's stalking me!

* * *

Still I didn't think it was all that bad,

Certainly nothing to make me mad!

It was just a new quirk to my life.

But after a while I saw that life was rife with strife…

And I didn't know what to do!

* * *

The Goblin King is my Stalker,

Oh he's a real big talker,

I just don't know what to do with him.

Some say that he stuffs his tights with socks,

Others say he really rocks!

All I know is that he's stalking me!

* * *

It kept getting worse; the more time went along,

I couldn't turn on my stereo without hearing the ballroom song!

And then he refused to tell me where my Phantom of the Opera CD had gone!

Where's Sarah when you really need her, I ask you?

Honestly tell me, what's a girl to do?

What if the Goblin King was stalking _you_?

* * *

The Goblin King is my Stalker,

Oh he's a real big talker,

I just don't know what to do with him.

Some say that he stuffs his tights with socks,

Others say he really rocks!

All I know is that he's stalking me!

* * *

Then the last straw finally came,

One Saturday when I was stuck home in the rain,

Laid up with a bad headache and stomach pain.

I had a day of movies all planned out in advance,

Legend and Rocky Horror (I love to watch Frank do his dance!)

The third Harry Potter, even though that one gets kind of dark.

And if I still had time I'd watch Clue and Court Jester, just for a lark.

But no sooner had I popped in the first one and pressed to make the credits advance,

Did I hear the fateful strains of "Dance, Magic, Dance!"

* * *

The Goblin King is my Stalker,

Oh he's a real big talker,

I just don't know what to do with him.

Some say that he stuffs his tights with socks,

Others say he really rocks!

All I know is that he's stalking me!

* * *

I couldn't go anywhere,

Without the Goblin King being there,

With that mane of blonde hair, blowing in a non-existent breeze.

My welcome for him was no longer hearty,

He even showed up to my nephew's second birthday party!

I couldn't stand for it anymore…

So I finally called him out,

And tried my hardest not to shout,

Because I knew it would just make him pout.

* * *

So I simply said:

"Goblin King, what's the deal?

I'm just a girl; I don't see the appeal,

So why are you always dogging my heels?

Why can't you leave me in peace?"

And you know what he said?

* * *

"My dear you've got this turned around,

And before you make a sound,

Let me get one this clear.

On one thing we do agree,

The want of privacy, but there's a problem, you see.

What you don't seem to realize…

Is you're the one stalking me!"

* * *

What? Impossible, I refused to believe such a lie!

And the Goblin King seemed to know this, as he started to sigh.

And counted off on his fingers as he began to say (with a fierce look in his eye):

"You have Labyrinth on VHS and DVD,

You have my poster on your wall, and a doll that looks like me.

You have a black t-shirt that features the blue worm,

Ah, now I see, you're starting to squirm!

And that's not all, on that you can bet.

You write about me in your stories, on that infernal fanfiction dot net!

I'm always on your mind, in the back of your brain,

Darling, you're a peach, but you're driving me insane!

So leave me be, and let me go, and let me disappear into the fog.

Or heaven help me, I'll throw you in the Bog!"

* * *

He left me then, all alone, to think on what he said.

Could there be some truth to it? I thought, as I lay in my bed,

With the Goblin King's words filling up my head.

Was I the stalker here, was it true what he had to say?

Well, personally, I believe:

NO BLOODY WAY!

* * *

The Goblin King is my Stalker,

Oh he's a real big talker,

I just don't know what to do with him.

Some say that he stuffs his tights with socks,

Others say he really rocks!

All I know is that he's stalking me!

* * *

Oh,

The Goblin King can turn a phrase or two,

But he ain't fooling me or you.

And we all know that to be true.

He can say it's all about us, he can claim any old thing.

But I say he's nothing but a big ole Drama Queen!

So maybe we'll never know quite who's stalking who,

And there's not a real whole lot we can do.

Except to give in, 'cause it is true he kinda rocks.

And if it comes to that, we'll just steal all his socks!

* * *

'Cause the Goblin King is our stalker,

He's a real big talker,

But we all love him anyway.

Even with his Tina Turner hair,

His hooker boots and overdramatic flair,

He still has a certain savoir faire!

That none of us can resist.

And you all know it's true,

That the same goes for you,

And there's nothing any of us can do.

Except embrace it and smile.

'Cause no matter where we go,

And even though fanfiction dot net took away the Jareth Show!

No matter what we read or who we know…

We can't escape what we really don't want to…

So say it loud and say it proud 'cause like I said, what else can we do?

And maybe…

Just maybe…

We'll figure out just who's stalking who!

* * *

Honestly, I marvel at what my brain comes up with. I have no idea where it comes from, truly. And frankly, I'm not sure I want to. Oh, and for those who are confused, the reference to the Jareth Show is from a fanfic of mine yon Powers that be took away. Ask some of the older crowd, kiddies, they may vaguely remember it. What can I say? I'm a little bitter. And I still loathe quickedit or whatever they're calling it now.

Anyhow, as always, I hope you enjoyed the fic, and remember…

"Please leave a contribution in the little review box"

Emerald, The Lady Destiny a.k.a. Emmy-chan


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